Episode 43: How to Fight Anxiety as a Christian Mom

Anxiety has been a topic on my podcast for a long time and when I learn something I add it to my notes but it just hasn’t felt ready yet! Then I realize this is not like me giving the magic answer to anxiety .. but just like an honest conversation and those are the things that help people! We are designed to live in a community and talk about hard things with people who are strong in the Lord and not be in isolation. So even though I don’t have all the answers, hopefully, this feels like a source of not being alone, and hopefully, it’s biblical and real life wisdom.  

None of this is medical advice or to persuade you against getting medical help. I know there are so many situations, and different people need different things. But hopefully, this is like a pep talk to help your mindset, just like a real conversation with a sister in Christ doing her best to follow God and overcome anxiety!

So, I mentioned this on Instagram the other day, but I heard a great podcast from Sadie Robertson Huff, and I just loved it! I really like to look at the world through a Christian lens, and I don’t trust people who aren't Christians to speak into my mental health. I think I can learn from people who aren’t Christians, but I do have a guard up. But I love Sadie’s heart and her faith, and it really helped!

So, I’m sharing some of what I loved about her podcast episode and just some of my notes from over the years!

One thing is to avoid triggers as a responsibility. I feel like sometimes we label ourselves like “I have anxiety, woe is me, poor me, I’m just in a constant struggle.” And I loved thinking of part of it as taking ownership.

So like in the same way someone is an addict or even a diabetic or other medical conditions, addicts shouldn’t be buying alcohol so they don’t have to come home and resist opening it every day. Just don’t buy it and don’t have it in your house. Same for someone struggling with diabetes, don’t buy a whole pack of cookies and then come home and try to have the strength to overcome. So if we are considering anxiety that way which I think is very true, it’s a medical condition but we aren’t powerless. Just like addicts can overcome, diabetics can get their blood sugar under control, people who struggle with anxiety DO have responsibility and power to get it under control. So avoiding triggers, what would the triggers of your anxiety be, I understand it’s different for different people but what stood out to me is like when I’m only fueled by caffeine, like if I didn’t eat breakfast or even lunch, just like acting like coffee is a food, it physically sends my body into anxiety without even a scary thought just my heart is actually racing, my mind is racing, my hands are shaky, like of course I’m not stable to handle life in a sound minded way. OR I cut this a long time ago but I used to watch like scary movies and scary podcasts like true crime and years ago I was like, this is not making my life better, I just truly do not watch or listen to things that are scary. And there’s an argument that maybe no one needs that? But especially if you have anxiety and are trying to have a sound mind. Don’t be watching serial killer movies. But for me like I see on social media like the worst-case scenario from these families and my heart breaks for them I’m praying for them but like the algorithm like hits me with that stuff all the time and I know I don’t need to carry the burden of these worst-case scenarios for all these families all the time. I have enough in my personal life to like carry the burdens of people I know and my own family praying for them. So like I’m not saying shut out people who need prayers, but just like doom scrolling on social media sad story after sad story after political story, like that doesn’t help my anxiety and that’s something I need to take ownership about and not be like “I struggle with anxiety poor me…” no I can do something about that part of it and get off social media. Another thing just being so honest here that I worry about is my own health and I know that stems from losing my mom early and sometimes wondering like ugh if she would have done this differently or gone to the doctor about that or etc. I feel this guilt. But when I take care of myself, it helps my anxiety because I know I’m doing what I can to battle that anxious thought of like is a mysterious illness going to take me out. Well at least the thoughts following that aren’t, because you eat bad food and don’t move your body. It helps me battle my anxiety to say I’m taking care of myself and giving the rest of my story to God. Also we KNOW we KNOW WE KNOW exercise is the best remedy for mental health. Like if we are sweating, moving our bodies, or lifting heavy things, there is positive adrenaline mentally as well as physically. So if I’m sitting around saying I have anxiety but I’m not even moving my body it’s like I know I should act like that’s medicine and just move and just DO IT.

One thing that I have always felt strongly about is to identify more as I’m overcoming anxiety or fighting anxiety not like I’m a person who will always have anxiety or I always struggle with it. I don’t get that right all the time, but hopefully, you see the difference. We can speak life over it and give it to God and pray and believe for full healing in this way just the same as we would pray and believe he can overcome another physical illness or diagnosis.

And of course we can’t control every thought that comes into our mind. We just can’t! But we can choose what thoughts we keep thinking, we can control what we SAY. And sometimes our anxieties may be from other people’s sins that are not our fault at all, things we have heard about, things that have happened to us, and sometimes anxiety stems from something that is NOT our fault. But sometimes, it stems from my sin. Sometimes, it is my laziness making me not move my body that’s causing more anxiety, sometimes it’s me choosing to stay up watching project runway that I’m not getting enough sleep, sometimes it’s me pretending coffee is a meal that’s causing anxiety so like in that way it is SIN for me to know these things and not do it. And that helps me find the discipline to just do the things I know to do and avoid sin when I make it spiritual like that.  

Another thing on Sadie’s podcast that I loved was her talking about like when she struggled with anxiety people would quote a bible verse to her and it would like make her a little mad like I KNOW I KNOW the verses but it’s not helping. And we either are mad at that person for thinking like it’s that simple, or we are mad at God like, I know this, and I believe it, but why am I struggling? But she said it’s not a verse that will save you. There are a ton of bible verses about anxiety so we know them and we think them, but its’ the real relationship with God that saves us, it’s putting our identity and trust in him so deeply that the world isn’t shaking us. It’s us viewing God as our father protecting us and loving us and trusting him with any worst-case scenario thought, which we know we would still trust him, so we can just like give it to him as a deep relationship and find freedom there instead of one verse like cast your anxiety on him and we’re like God here grab this! Help God! I gotta go drink my coffee and doom scroll can you just like catch this anxiety that I’m casting on you. It’s just deeper than that.

Another thing that has helped me is kind of along those lines but I used to find myself like ruminating on these prayers Lord help me save me from this anxious thought give me joy and freedom but I’d be like stuck thinking that. And I needed to like literally step out of that. Like say it once and then walk away and call a friend about some fun activity coming up or go turn on a happy podcast and organize my kitchen or like go play outside with my kids. Like even though in my mind I was being faithful in that anxious moment, I was staying in it. And it helps me to be like, I really can’t think of 2 things at the same time, so I’m going to turn on a lighthearted TV show and stretch my body while I think about who’s going to win this reality TV competition and that helped me not be thinking the anxious thought. I hope that makes sense.

Another thing I’ve learned over the years, which helps me, is that our feelings aren’t facts, and our thoughts aren’t facts. Like just because you feel something doesn’t mean it’s true. Just because you have a fear doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. Even a medical report doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true we have seen God work miracles and medical reports change. The only thing that is true and never changing is the word of God, his promises, and his relationship with us. That’s the only thing that’s true. So, one of my friends, I was being honest to her about anxieties in my life that always end with me being separated from my kids and them living without a mom like I have… and she’s like, you are not more likely to die early than anyone else. The devil is making you think that because of course he knows that’s a weakness and he’s coming at you. He’s not trying to come at you with a heroin addiction he’s coming at your motherhood. But that’s just the lens you’re looking at the world that doesn’t mean it’s true. Your motherhood isn’t more at risk than anyone else’s, that not true. Most likely, even taking the power of God out of the equation, statistically, you will live a long, healthy life with your kids! And that really did help me realize, these fears aren’t true. God’s word is true. What’s right in front of me is true. But my anxious thoughts aren’t true. And especially the ones that have been designed to target my weak spots aren’t true. They aren’t more true for me than they are for anyone else. And we know this is true because we know the people we care about all struggle with different anxieties. We don’t all worry about the same things. So the things your husband worries about aren’t more true for him. It’s just a lie for him that doesn’t affect you as much. And the things you worry about can just be a lie that your friend never even worries about. It helps me think that way!