Episode 30: What Do You Want?

What do you want?

The title of this episode is – do you know what you want? And I really want you to ask yourself that. What do you want? I mention this question on the trailer episode for this podcast. It’s one of the founding pieces of this podcast because it is so much of the heart behind why I created this podcast for moms. I really want you all to love your life and love being a mom and love the season you’re in. I want your kids to have a mom who loves her life and loves being a mom. Of course I want that for you! And I think to get there mentally we have to ask ourselves sometimes – what do I want?

I think one of the most dangerous things we can do is just live on autopilot especially if negativity is creeping in. If you are feeling discontent and negative, I don’t think that we should accept that mindset and just live there – at least as much as we can help it. There are so many Bible verses about being content and I think that is something we should aim for. A peace and contentment that comes from the Holy Spirit and choices we make about how we are going to feel about things- regardless of the circumstances. I do think there can be a type of a Holy Spirit prompted discontentment like a prompting on your heart to make a change. That’s not really what I’m talking about. I’m talking about when we feel like we are stuck in a rut and have a bad attitude every day, feeling like you are going through the motions in circumstances you didn’t choose. Because honestly- for most people- we probably did actually choose a lot of our circumstances. So I don’t want for us to just sit around and be miserable! I want more for all of us! I want us to feel like we are living a life we choose and making the absolute most of it. That we are finding the joy in the little things and having attitudes of thankfulness and hope and joy.

And I hope you know I am speaking as your sister in Christ who is literally right there with you. I’m not above this conversation and I’m speaking from a place of – I’ve been there. But.

I really love to ask myself- what do I want? What do I REALLY want? I think this IS a God-honoring question too, honestly. Because when we are on auto-pilot we are more likely to just forget about God. If you’re just living your life feeling like – this isn’t what I wanted. You’re probably comparing yourself to other people, you’re thinking about what could have been, you’re focusing on things you regret.

But when we stop to think about what we really want we are: #1 more likely to realize we already have what is most important to us. And realizing THAT leads to an attitude of contentment. And #2 thing that happens when we ask ourselves what we really want is that we can ask God for it. We can be in communication with him about it. We can work for it. We can pray about necessary action to take.

So let’s dive into both of these a little bit but first let’s really think this through- I’m going to ask you some questions and I really want you to consider your answers. Just slow down for a minute and think – what do I *really* want? What kind of family do I want? What kind of spouse did I pray for and wait for and ask God for? What kind of kids did I pray for and dream about?  What kind of home did I want? Not just like how many bonus rooms your house would have but what did you want your home to feel like? What kind of community do you really want? What kind of friends do you really want? If you have to earn money for your family- what type of job would you want? How would you want to feel working?

So when we ask ourselves those questions the first thing that can happen is that #1 we realize we already have what we really want most. At our core. Or we already have a lot of what we really want. Or we already have more than we ever hoped for. Maybe not in every category but maybe you have surprised yourself thinking about it. Maybe you’re realizing- I prayed for these kids. I wanted them so bad. All the pieces of them, the tough stuff with the amazing stuff. Maybe it changes the posture of your heart to realize you got what you wanted. Maybe things about your home drive you crazy but now that you’ve thought about it you always wanted a safe place to raise your kids and play with them and you actually have that now, so taking care of your home is part of it but actually you got what you wanted so you’ll do what you need to do to keep it. Or you used to hope and pray you’d get married and find someone to commit to you for life. And now you are! So think about what you love about that person. Keep thinking about those things. Set the bar for how you want you guys to treat each other and start doing those. Because you’re truly grateful for him.

And what about the things we thought of that *aren’t* what we really want? I am sure we can all think of some things that aren’t exactly like we would have chosen. Maybe those are big things, maybe they now seem like small things. Well, either way, now we pray about those things. We can ask God to give us an attitude of contentment while we try to change the circumstances. Or contentment even when some things can’t change. Or find the best-case scenario given the circumstances, find things that bring joy and honor God through the circumstances. And pray to change what we can! We can be action-takers, we can pray for words to say, steps to take. We can get advice from people we trust. We can save money or learn new things or meet new people that might help take us to new circumstances. We can be more diligent about *not* saying or doing things that don’t align with what we really want. We aren’t going to walk around complaining and speaking out all the negative things we are praying against. I have an episode called speak life and if you’re interested in this at all go listen to that episode I really put a lot of heart into that one! It’s single-handedly probably changed my life more than most things in my adult life.

I love the verse and I’ve mentioned it on the podcast before but, in Luke 16:30 Jesus says- He who can be trusted with little can be trusted with a lot. So it’s like proving to God that we can be God-honoring in our circumstances NOW, WHILE we are praying for something else. You wouldn’t even promote an employee who had a bad attitude and won’t even do what they have been asked to do because they think they are too good for it. No, you’re going to promote the person who works hard and does exceptional at what is in front of them because you’re now certain they can do more. Not saying that’s exactly how God works but as much as it might be up to us don’t we want to show him how much he can trust us?

And I want to say that even if your circumstances aren’t changing as fast as you want them to, even the act of taking steps to change your circumstances FEELS good, it feels empowering. Recognizing the need for God every step of the way feels nice, it makes you feel closer to him, it gives you more chances to honor him through the process as well as with the end result. You aren’t going to scare God with asking for what you want, if you know for sure it isn’t God-honoring then you shouldn’t be doing it, but if you’re walking with Him and have it in your heart to do something or want something, ask God for it! Bring him in! He KNOWS what you want anyway so just talk it out with him, listen for his prompting, watch for him to move and help you!

I love thinking of the analogy of like a 3 year old child asking their parents for what they want. They have no concept of like money required or other means necessary for the things they want- they just ask for it. It could be like a snowcone or like a private jet and to them it’s all the same they just like want what they want and they aren’t afraid to ask their parents for it. And that’s how we can approach God. Hebrews 4:16 says Let us come boldly to the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find help in time of need. That whole chapter 4 is about how the word of God is living and powerful, and nothing is secret from Him, he sent Jesus as High Priest to sympathize with our weaknesses, but there’s mercy and grace for us when we are in need. And aren’t we ever in need? You aren’t scaring God with your life, he already knows, and he wants to help you. And sticking in line with Him as your guide and your director and your helper is a sure-fire guarantee that what you do will be blessed.

And we can apply all of this to several areas of our lives, as general or as specific as we want it to be. He cares about it all.

Sometimes you have to choose what you want most over what you want now. And I know that can be hard. But it is such a mark of maturity. And if you have the Holy Spirit- you have all the fruit of the spirit available to you at all times one of which is self-control. You DO have self-control. You can choose what you want most over what you want now.

I love to let you guys in on a little bit of the behind the scenes of this podcast because it’s really all for you and for His glory anyway. But I have had this episode planned for a while. It’s been titled “what do you want?” I even recorded it all the way through once but it just didn’t feel ready. This past weekend I spent some time just looking over episodes and thinking about what I should say next and I saw this episode.

ALSO I’m doing this Bible study with the girls in my life group and we are using a plan in the youversion bible app and it’s written by amy groeschel and it’s called Jesus is Life – A study on the book of john. And I’m in the middle of it and YESTERDAY was the story about two of jesus’ disciples beginning to follow Jesus and then turned to them in John 1:38 and said, “What do you want?” and that same page of the bible study talks about in Mark 10:51 when Jesus’ asked a blind man, “what do you want?” … it is pretty obvious that the blind man wants his sight, but Jesus’ still asks him. That page of the Bible study says Jesus’ questions were aimed at the heart. And our answer may reflect where WE are and the depth of our faith. THEN I’m not making this up. I have shared before that I’ve been doing the Bible recap bible study which is a chronological study through the entire Bible. And I do love the hard copy book and I’ve been using it for over a year and I love it. But sometimes I found myself wanting to keep reading it when I didn’t have that book with me. I really want to finish it. So I downloade the plan on my youversion Bible app and I was trying to figure out where I was and what place to start. And ton the first page I opened was in 1 Kings 3 when The Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream and God said, “What do you want? Ask, and I will give it to you.” And if you know the story Solomon asks for wisdom and God replies with “Because you asked for wisdom in governing my people with justice and not asked for long life or wealth or the death of your enemies – I will give you what you ask for! Wisdom! And I will also give you what you did not even ask for – riches and fame… and if you follow me and obey my decrees and commands as your father David did, I will give you a long life.”

I mean does that not give you guys chills? God is real in case you didn’t know. He’s an active part of our lives and He cares. When I got that literally 3^rd reminder of that question I was like Okay God I hear you and this word is from you and I’ll get that podcast re-recorded and published just as soon as I can!! SO I feel brave enough to say that God wanted you to hear that too.

So let’s just pray that God helps us answer that question, what do I want. We can pray that he will turn what we want into what he wants. We will pray for contentment and joy in our lives, courage to make changes that we want to make, and that we’ll keep God in the center of it all.

I hope this encourages you, guys!

Before we close I’d love to say a prayer and blessing for you. Dear Lord thank you for these listeners. Please bring our hearts all the more closer to yours, let our WANTS be what you WANT. Let us be brave enough to ask you and take our wants to you and take steps to fulfill those callings you’ve put in our hearts. Let us find contentment when we realize the areas that are exactly what we wanted. Thank you GOD because we know every good and perfect thing comes from you. Let all we do be for your glory. In your son Jesus’ name, AMEN.

If you want more from Elevate Motherhood, find us on Instagram! I’m able to share more day to day life there than I can here on the podcast. Also, Elevate Motherhood has an online Home Organization course created for MOMS. I’m passionate about freeing moms up and lightening their load from expectations and burdens. I want to help you get your home working FOR you so you can relax and be the mom you really want to be. I so much want it to help you that I offer a money-back guarantee. If it didn’t make your life better, I’ll give you your money back. Link in shownotes or at CourtneyLundeen.com

Thanks for being here, friends! Until next time, let’s elevate motherhood.